Written by Noah Goodbaum | Photography by Philip Litevsky
Dear God I hope Down With Webster don’t read this.
For denizens of virtually any locale that doesn’t boast the initials N, Y, and C—hell, probably even in NYC—going to local rap shows is a little like enduring a production of “Romeo & Juliet” put on by fourth-graders: the effort and enthusiasm on display is bound to be totally winsome, but one way or another you’re gonna have to work really hard not to cringe. Case in point: Saturday’s installment of the monthly Heads Connect gig at the Rivoli, featuring T-Dot stalwarts Rhythmicru.
They fit that whole paradigm to a T: young-turk strivers on the up-and-up, energetic and earnest in equal measure, clearly pleased as punch to be able to rock even a modest crowd, especially when quite a few folks therein were longtime boosters who hollered their choruses back like no tomorrow. D-Ray and company are hard-working cats, dues-paying mainstays down with talents like More or Les and boasting an awesome DJ in Sawtay, who spun heat all night.
Rhyme-wise they were more or less born to get utterly eaten alive on their own shit (and syllable king Shad-K of London, Ont., is more than happy to show up on their bangin’ new mixtape single, “Here It Comes”, to provide just that service), but they’re unimpeachably sincere and plainly bursting with love for the culture; if they ever decide to step their rhyme game up beyond “I take my life in my hand like a man with a spear”, we just might be in business.
They were sharing a bill with Down With Webster, who gave me the heebie-jeebies as soon as the first faux-ominous piano chords hit; before long they were in full-on nu-metal mode, playing music so excruciatingly, it made me want to buy a camel from a Bedouin merchant and drag it all the way to the Rivoli just so they could all suck its dick. No offense to the guys in Linkin Park—they suck, but Shinoda seems like a really nice dude—but I sorta wish they had been buried in a freak snowstorm just long enough never to gain the kind of following that leads to stank-ass pastiche bands like this one; there was a lot of banging going on, not least that of my own head slamming into the wall in hopes that I’d black out and the agony would cease. As soon as Down With Webster appeared on stage, the club was suddenly PACKED, and tons of people appeared to be having the time of their lives; to own their each, I suppose, but, I mean, Jesus tittyfucking Christ.
AHEM. Rhythmicru—rock on! Go see Rhythmicru next month, everybody.
Down With Webster – not so much.
Goodnight!
p.s. peep here for the rest of the shots.
I like DJ Sawtay. He’s dope. Cale writes some decent rhymes sometimes and D-Ray is a pretty good beat maker. Down with Webster? Not so much.
You sir are a fag! Is this actually your job? I don’t know who you think I am but I grew up listening to (and rhyming with) rhythmicru and came to a point where they could no longer mentor me. They are all good friends of mine but I would battle them all any day. (and I’m not even the main emcee.)
It’s not my fault that people like my band. They got their money’s worth. Who the fuck else is doing what we do??? So you give props to throw- back hip hop which plays it safer than a virgin with a crack whore and don’t even have one positive note to kids who’ve been paying dues since they were 13?
On top of being a fag who apparently knows nothing about new trends
for future music, you are also a douche. I could do your job high on pcp with my fist up your girlfriend’s ass and a paper cut on my eyeball.
Find a more creative outlet for your writing. How about a song??
P.S. What the kind of writing is that camel shit? Your parents sent you to school to learn that kind of word play?
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Nice run-on sentence (but and -but, but; and as well)
Next time stay for the whole show instead of judging a band on their
opening jam. I guess it’s hard for sexually frustrated music critics
to be in a room full of young, horny girls, fighting over who’s gonna
suck my dick after the show.
That’s right buddy. I am the camel! Ask your girl if she wants a hump.
What a faggot Dee Dub is the SHIZNIT!!! Pop Yo Trunk RIF RAF!!
Noah, I would just like to say that Down With Webster is way cooler then you. You’re a wannabe 94 hip hop dummy who needs to up his game.
Here’s an idea. Get a time machine and take it back to when the kind of music you like was cool. You’ll still have no say in it and get no pussy. You’re a spectator and apparently a confused and out of touch one at that.
Long Live DWW.
Hey Noah, it seems you’re not the only blog with a post ravaged by angry DWW fans. These kids are unable to stand the fact that you (and I – and others) feel that DWW is in poor taste most of the time.
Bad music, worse attitude.
While I could not disagree with your opinion on DWW more, what really struck me about this review was your pathetic writing style. It may be true that everyone is entitled their own opinion, but surely it takes more than an opinion to proclaim that yours is “Toronto’s premier live urban music?photo-blog.” All this piece demonstrates is that your Microsoft word thesaurus is functioning and that you enjoy trying to intimidate your reader with long-winded and needlessly complex sentence structure. Denizens? Pastiche? Buddy its 2008 is this really necessary? I honestly feel bad for anyone that is impressed with your writing. In addition to your offensive language skills you also failed to include any real content in this work. Instead of attacking these musicians and describing how you feel, try to be a little more constructive. You clearly did not enjoy the show but what is your opinion based on? Without a coherent analysis of the actual music your review is little more than a misled rant. Why should I listen to you? Once again I’m not going to debate your musical opinion no matter how out of touch with reality it may be. After all everyone has haters. But for your own sake, take some fucking pride in your work. As a final thought, you and your photographer may want to consider using pseudonyms. Although you put a lot of emphasis on paying hip hop dues, there is something about the names Noah Goodbaum and Philip Litevsky which lack hip-hop credibility. How about cock-smith?
You should shut the fuck up about Down with Webster. If they were up against you its fucking Ox to a little fucking pussy cat. Yeah thats right, you can only talk shit over your fucking DOPE A LOT. You have no life so your sentences look like a pissed off grade 3 wrote them. Like come on. grow up! I don’t give a shit how jealous you are of D-Dub, don’t talk shit.
hahahaa….This is a joke right? How are you not more embarrassed of yourself for this?
You make me want to find your mother and slap the shit outta her for not loving you at all. She must have just, just hated you.
I’d be willing to discuss this if you’d said ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR MUSIC. Linkin Park? Really? Wanna try being even the slightest bit creative you fuckin pathetic excuse for a music critic. I’m not wasting my time educating you about hip hop. I won’t do it, cause anyone who listens to anything more than the top 40 should know that not every band with elements of more than one genre or music is Linkin Park. That’s like comparing Aesop to soulja boy. Disgusting.
On top of the fact that you don’t know shit all, you sound like a whiney little bitch, but I’m sorry noah. I’m sorry that you’re never going to be as talented or as attractive as any of the guys in DWW.
So on Oct.8th when you’re at home jacking off to pictures of the band you just tried really hard to slam, I’ll be at the Down With Webster CD release show having a fuckin ball. You should stop by, if you’re nice they might share one of the 1100 chicks that are gunna show up half naked waiting to suck their dicks…or just get in line cause i have a feeling that’s more your speed.
P.S. Next time you trash a band, take your balls out of your purse and don’t start with “god I hope ______ don’t read this”
…fuckin tool.